now what?

i dream of you at home, safe and sound. it s always before the diagnosis in my dreams. always before the havoc. we talk, quarrel, crack jokes. in the mornings i wake up miserable, lacking the will to get out of bed… even if i don t remember my dreams… i don t tell mom about them. nor do i tell my elders. i keep them to myself. it s my share of the legacy after all…