long time no see..

in my dream i m talking to someone (probably mistress g) but it seems to be happening in my head only, like i'm writing a letter in my head or something. theme of this imaginary conversation is red riding hood. i'm working in this empty office, looks like g finally started her own business but now the office is moving elsewhere and i'm the last one there, staying behind to tie up the loose ends. then i notice the presence of this girl, g's latest pa; somehow she hands me an envelope or a piece of paper maybe, on it reads only "now there are real wolves, with hair pelts and enormous teeth, but also wolves who seem perfectly charming, sweet-natured and obliging, who pursue young girls in the street and pay them the most flattering attention. unfortunately, these smooth-tongued, smooth-pelted wolves are the most dangerous of all." (charles perrault) i think at that point i realize what she really is, my doppelgänger, out to get me. i let myself out as she disappears from my sight, and begin my flight while trying to look inconspicuous. i wake up in my room, in wohnheim. it's the dead of the night. everyone's asleep, power is down, darkness is alive and a paradise lost song (sane) booms through it all. i stumble out to the hall and try my neighbours' doors to no avail. when i finally find e, i'm on the brink of tears and the damned song keeps playing, mocking me, rubbing it in. and then i really wake up.

“seasons of sun won't suffice,
but for you my guarding light, i'd walk around this earth.
though the streets are paved with gold i'd collect it to be sold,
i'm bringing this on myself

but i feel for you,
will you show you're sane.

in your mouth a loaded gun,
pull the trigger have you won
let's see how you can do, it's the darker days you dread,
all the hurtful things i said, it seems i'm nothing,

but i feel for you,
will you show you're sane.”